Sunday, February 17, 2008

Salamet Mom.



The trip to the Philippines and Thailand with my mother was to be the first time in five years that I would bring neither a surfboard nor bicycle for an adventure with obvious intentions. I packed my running shoes, socks and sports bras before anything else, knowing these items would be necessary for every one's sanity and enjoyment. My enjoyment for running and theirs, especially my mom's, for not having to deal with me if I didn't run.

When I arrived in Manila- mom and I stayed at a pensione that she routinely visits when she has to come into the city. Of course she had talked to everyone and their neighbor about my visiting. People she probably didn't even know where smiling at me and wishing us a happy visit when we arrived. Gabby, the owner of the Pensione was especially kind and accommodating. I could tell he cared for mom, a running theme in the people I would meet, and while it didn't surprise me, it made it easier to know mom was surrounded by people who appreciated how special she truly is.

Nita met us in Kalibo and drove us back to Altavas. Nita is my Mom's host and a Physics teacher at the high school. She instantly reminded me of Mom. She was warm, intelligent and I felt right at home. At Nita's house I met her mother Nai Nai and Also Ruby and Li Li (I hope that is right.) They were all so sweet and smiling all of the time. We were only there for two full days. But I got to run in the mornings down the dirt road while passing rice fields, cows soaking in mud, and accompanied by the many stray dogs.

Since Mom was the only American in the town, everyone was curious about her daughter. As we moved through the market, visited the Mayor, the fire station, and the garden her kids worked so hard to create, I felt like a dignitary as I shook hands with all of these smiling people approaching me. I think I understand now what people mean when they say they felt humility in the face of such caring, open, loving people. They didn't know me, but because I was Alice's daughter, they welcomed me with genuine and enthusiastic warmth. Altavas was hot, and humid, and it was exhausting touring the small town at such a breakneck pace after having flown for 15 hours and no sleep.
Despite all of this, looking back, Altavas was my favorite part of the two weeks.

I almost forgot to mention the best part. I saw my mom, the woman who raised Tray and I by cutting every one's hair in the town of Cary from our basement 7 days a week, get up on stage and speak. She spoke eloquently and with confidence about the work her high-schoolers had done in the garden. She talked about teamwork, and coming together with the townspeople to plant the garden and raise the minouck (chicken). While she spoke I looked around the table and out into the garden where the kids and their families were gathered. Everyone was smiling up at her. I always knew my mom was strong, and independent, and had a great sense of adventure. But for the first time I saw her as a leader. I think about the challenges I face at work. My own insecurities as a supervisor. Seeing her assume that role with such ease and humor helped me realize I could do the same. The key is to be true to yourself. My mom has always been so good at that. I was often embarrassed of that as a child- the crazy hats, her loud laugh, the list goes on. It's ironic that I now know this to be one of my Mom's greatest strengths. She knows who she is and presents that same loud-laughing, smiling, woman to everyone she meets. My mother is incapable of pretension. If you don't like her, she will shrug her shoulders and move on. I still have so much to learn from her.

Thailand: The Islands were friendly and relaxing. The water was warm- great for kite-boarding. The massages were inexpensive and deep. The silk pillowcases, of which I bought too many for friends and family, were colorful, bright and cool. The stray dogs were happy and well-fed. The food, oh my god the food. I promptly stopped worrying about my diet and indulged while mom spent the first few days eating salads and other American Fare because she missed it so much. Our time in Thailand was spent on the beach. We were in areas catering to tourists and it was obvious. But after not seeing each other for two years and too much flying, driving and ferrying previous to our arrival, a little down-time with mom was exactly what I needed. We caught each other up on our lives, talked about Tracy's new house and how much we wished she could be sitting on the beach with us.

When I got home I didn't have stories of riding on elephants, seeing great temples, climbing mountains, or even catching one wave. I was at a loss when people asked me how the trip was and what we did. I think that's why it's taken me so long to write. I definitely want to go back to Thailand. I can see the country has so much to offer and experience. But this trip wasn't about any of the places I traveled to. It was about my mom. I hadn't seen her in two years. In the past two years she's become once again what she was to me during my childhood. She is my idol.