Ego is my rabbit...

I drove home from work today excited and pumped to get my 2 x30 minute hill repeats done. The sun was shining, I slept the night through, and thought only briefly of the crossfit workout I checked before leaving work. My fellow crossfitters were meeting at the track for 3 x 800's. Hmm...that sounded fun, but I have a goal and work to do. I met Troy to get into my car and recover my belongings...what amazing luck! The police found my stolen car after a month and all of my belongings were intact!! After a quick breakfast for the girls and myself I changed into my trail shoes. Caleb called.

He did the morning Crossfit workout. He smoked his 800's getting 2:30's and faster. Then he casually mentioned he thought I could be faster than the fastest woman so far. Her 800's were in the 330 range. He knows my math is atrocious and explained that I could easily do this. I told him I had a workout to do. He said he knew and that was too bad. I hung up. It took me all of 5 seconds to decide. I knew what I had to do. I called Ronda about 10 times looking for validation and enabling like a good friend will do, but she was no where near her phone. She was doing her PRESCRIBED workouts for the day. "Girls, I'm sorry...I have an appointment with a stopwatch." Emma shook her head sadly as Zoe gave me the evil eye. I tried not to notice as I took off the trail shoes and replaced them with my road shoes. I changed my shirt for good measure to the "Run like a girl" Montrail t-shirt. It's become my lucky t-shirt. I grabbed my keys, water, gu and went to warm-up. Caleb arrived just as I was finishing the first lap of my first 800. "1:16" I was in trouble...too fast. But on the second lap I held it together long enough to catch that furry little ego bunny. I finished in 2:45. That's fast for me. I couldn't keep the pace for the final two. I clocked a 2:57 and 2:55. The last one had even splits. With my ego soothed I called Ronda to confess my transgression.

She said that's great and her voice told me everything I needed to know. Those 800's weren't getting me out of my hill repeats and those hill repeats that I was looking forward to earlier this morning, were now going to HURT. The phrase, "You gotta pay to play," entered my mind. I went back home, grabbed the dogs, and off we went towards our 7-9% grade hill to run up it 2 times at threshold.

So as not to keep anyone on the edge of their seat I did finish my workout. I could not get my HR up to 168 on the first repeat, but did push hard at 156 for 30 minutes. The 25 minute downhill was like chocolate, chips, and a great kiss all rolled into one. The lactic acid cleared and I had some legs for the second repeat. For our second trip I started a little farther downhill and managed to get my HR up to 166. The 30 minutes brought us in sight of the gate at the top of our hill.

I learned my lesson. As Ronda reminded me I don't want to make a habit of writing checks my body can't cash. Those all out sprints at Max HR are fun and yeah, make you feel good when you catch some high fives for the numbers, but they will not serve me in the long run. Remembering my long-term goal, The Tetons, and sticking to the plan is going to give me the best chance of competing at my potential. But living in the moment and running a 2:45 makes me feel pretty damn good too.

Now- does anyone want to help me clean my house? Because that was on the list of "to do's" as well.

Learning to love numbers

I went back to OHSU to get another VO2Max Test on Thursday. Last November I was less than thrilled to hear my VO2 Max was 51 and Threshold HR was 155. My "Numbers" have never been exceptional. Which is why I've always chosen to rely on Heart, thinking that never-give-up mentality would take me a heck of a lot further than having a VO2 Max better than him or her. Somehow seeing the numbers felt more limiting than encouraging. The science told me what my limits were. I didn't want to know. Because if you don't know, you can accomplish anything right? Childlike, perhaps, but it had served me relatively well in my athletic pursuits. I've changed my mind.

I'm 37 years old. Yes, 37. I'm running longer and faster than I ever thought I could. I'm working hard no doubt about it. But when I falter, or want to slow down, there is something else besides that beating organ that I've become obsessed with through my watch, pushing me forward. It's numbers. It's knowing I am physically capable of running the last 6 miles of my three hour run at 7:40's because I've run faster in my tempo runs. Now I think merely, "I've done it before, I can do it again." My taxed heart has only to beat accordingly as my mind blocks the excuses and reasons to stop. Numbers don't have to limit us. I think the key is not to be attached to the meaning we put into them. 53.6 isn't a good or bad VO2 Max. It's a where I'm at right now. My threshold went up to 166. I'm using 86% of my capacity. There is room for improvement. Nothing limiting there. 7:40 miles aren't fast or slow. They are just the tools I'm using to get faster. And I am getting faster. So next time you think..."Oh she's just doing 7:40 miles," you better look over your shoulder because that was yesterday and I'm coming for you. ;] Cheers.

Free Day

It's interesting what we do with our time when we think we have all the time in the world vs when we believe our time is not our own. I went in to work today on my Kelly Day. Kelly Day's are a day off from work without having to use your own vacation. Usually I watch and plan for these days like a hawk. This month I was so distracted I didn't even realize today was my Kelly Day. When I showed up at work, everyone had a good laugh. Then I stepped back into my car and headed home. Today I can do anything. I thought I would be held at work for 24 hours. Instead I started planning: the workouts, the time with the dogs, and even building those raised beds for my garden. I decided to start the day off at Crossfit. The WOD was:

21-15-9 Reps of: Row (21 calories)
Push Press (85pounds)
GHD Sit-ups

Nick inspired the morning group by finishing in 9:40 on his own! I stepped onto the rowing machine feeling strong and focused. I felt an intensity that I sometimes lack and realize comes from knowing I have a choice and have come to this workout with focus and intention. In other words, I didn't happen to be driving by, or decide to come because someone else talked me into it. I arrived with a plan and that drove me to success. For the rest of the day I plan on practicing actions with intention. I have the luxury of a free day to practice. I hope to carry on tomorrow, and the next day. Returning to work on Friday, the challenge will be maintaining my focus and intention in the workplace. I'm challenging myself to remain engaged in my choices and actions. Two quotes come to mind. One I've put at the heading of my blog- Bob Marley's, "Wake up and Live." The other, just as important, and sometimes harder to remember and practice, is Thich Naht Hanh's "Be free where you are."

It's all choice. So simple. So challenging. So rewarding.