The Horizon

My thoughts are scattered these days. I've so many paths in front of me. Each one is appealing for one reason or another. I remember learning about Leonardo Divinci in high school. I thought, "That's how I want to be!" I want to explore everything and once I've mastered it, move on. I got it wrong. Davinci's gift wasn't in the quantity of his skills but the quality of his curiosity. I have many interests. I have no trouble kick-starting the path, learning the basics, and over-coming initial challenges. It's sticking with it, patiently wading through the slow tides, where I lose momentum. I can think of very few paths that have not strayed into the wood to be taken another day as Frost would say.

Recently, my mornings have not been met by my typical leap out of bed to feed the girls, drink coffee, get breakfast and get out to run, lift, or dog park before getting on with the day. I find myself lying there wondering what I want. I make coffee, read...some would say I was "Relaxing." It doesn't really feel that way- though it is peaceful. I don't seem to be coming to any conclusions. Though I'm the first to admit patience is not my strong suit...I'm thinking thinking is redundant and not really an activity. If I'm not coming to conclusions while specifically being still, and meanwhile feeling a bit stir crazy under the peace of rest, I need to get back to doing what I do best. I need to move. The answers will come when I am ready. Perhaps they are already there and I just need to notice them. Regardless. Starting seconds after I close this laptop, the girls and I are going outside, into the rain, and getting on with getting on. It's what we do. The rest will just have to fall into place. And as for Mr Davinci, my guess is he probably had a few short-term pursuits as well. Before he stumbled into science and art and the human form...he may have been a triathlete for a short stint. It didn't make his top ten, so we didn't hear about it. We just don't know. There are hobbies and then there are things that are just a part of who we are. Just like family, they will always be there, ready and willing to pick up where we left off. No judgement- just love, acceptance, and still so much to learn.

August 9 2008

I have not been sitting on the couch this whole time. I've been thinking...about a lot of things. I'm running again- not entirely without my vocal knee and heel peanut gallery...but the majority of systems are go. It's during my runs that I usually come up with my next blog post. But lately, I've had so much on my mind that I can't seem to limit myself to one coherent idea. Or the idea is so deeply personal that I'm not certain it's post-it-and-let-the-world-read-it material. Ok, perhaps I overstate my audience. :] But you get the idea.

I've decided to jump back on the proverbial big wheel and just start typing. I'm limiting myself by believing I need to have the answers and great breakthroughs with every post. So here are some of the more trivial happenings these past few weeks. Even as I type that word, "trivial" I realize that nothing we do is trivial. Our actions are always indicative of the inner desire for happiness, peace, contentment, evolution, this list could go on and on.

SHORT TRACK

This year I managed to make 4 of the 6 races out at PIR on the motor cross track.
Short track, as it implies, is a fast relatively short looped course through the dirt, over logs, and under the trees. I'm reminded of the saying, "Do something that scares you every day." Well, Mondays pretty much take care of the week's worth of fear. I have no off road skills to speak of- but when that horn starts the race, I pretend not to be afraid. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you choose to disregard every fiber in your being that is telling you not to ride your 15 year old mountain bike over that ledge. My friend Ronda, just decided she will be racing in Leadville's 100 mile mountain bike race. She's run the Ultramarathon so naturally she must conquer the same trails on mountain bike. It's no small detail that she didn't own a mountain bike. After getting a sweet new ride- her and her family joined me for the Monday night madness. Seeing Ronda, in running shoes and tank tops- "the biking outfits are just too unflattering" kicking butt and sailing over obstacles that I'm still thinking about...helped eleviate some fear. Actually, that's a lie, I wasn't ABOUT to let her out perform me when I was the one wearing the ugly bike outfit and supposedly the one with experience!

For all of you that were concerned...clearly the spirit of competition- my longest love affair, is still alive and well within me.

THE BEACH

Seth is in town for two weeks. We went to the coast for three days with the girls and stayed in the trailor on the Nehalem River like old times. The surf was small but oh so clean! Seth's skills have markedly improved from surfing 4 times a week in Los Angeles. He had hoped for bigger waves. I was secretly pleased with the waist-high swell. It was like I'd been surfing all summer long. The short trip left me anxious to get back out on a regular basis. I met two more local Portlanders that I can carpool with.

RUNNING...or the obsessive relationship many beg me to get out of. (Sometimes love hurts)

Today Zoe and I will head out for our recovery week long run. It's only 90 minutes with 2-4 miles of M-Pace. My VDot has dropped considerably along with my fitness in the few months I was busy stressing over my stress reaction. FYI I learned that stress reactions are directly related to stress! And futhermore, if you continue to agonize and stress over the injury, I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure it slows the healing process. And you thought there would be no profound breakthroughs in this entry!

With not enough time to ramp the training up in a safe and slow manner, ultras are out this year. The Tetons will have to wait. Instead Scott is helping me with a plan that will hopefully give me a marathon PR.

Those are the biggies. Of course there is a lot more, on the periphery and beyond. But you will just have to start tuning in again to get all the details. Until then, feels good to be back. Thanks Scott (Dr Fuller) and Ronda for keeping at me to post. :]