The Next Generation

For the next 8 days we will be testing and interviewing new recruits for the next generation of fire fighters. I love being involved with this process as people from all backgrounds step onto the drill ground hoping it is the beginning of a new career and life. The relief on their faces when we tell them, "congratulations, you passed (the physical agility course)" is heartening and takes me back to when I did the same thing almost 13 years ago. The regret and frustration of not passing is palpable. The only positive offering is our changed policy of testing every year as opposed to every two years. A small consolation to someone who has already worked so hard and put their life on hold for the outcome of this test. The agility test has evolved and changed slightly over the years but the tension and stress of completing it quickly and without incident remains intact.

Last shift myself and the crew went out for our yearly turn at completing the Physical Agility Test (PAT). After my first run since the marathon and well timed physical I was informed I may have another stress fracture. This time the culprit is my left foot. Without spending too much time on this subject, haven't we already covered this?, I did notice some swelling a few weeks ago...but it wasn't bothering me. I made it through the marathon and felt great afterwards. But the post marathon run left me with a throbbing foot that was difficult to conceal from my doctor. One round of XRays down and a bone scan appointment for the 28th, it'll be good to see ole' Mary again, and I'll know for sure. Until then...the PAT was not exactly my idea of a restful activity. But there was no way I was going to even try to shuffle out of this. Being one of the proctors of this test for the rest of the bureau and still feeling the need to prove myself to my crew, I used a whole roll of tape on my foot. It felt, well come to think of it...I couldn't feel my foot. This was perfect. I told Jamie, who happened to be my proctor, to please just keep me on time to make the standard which was 8:02.

Of course when he said go something happened and I took off racing. It is amazing how physical discomfort can be totally overridden by your brain. From the minute that stopwatch started my body knew nothing but it's immediate goal of pushing as hard and fast as I could. The strange thing is that it wasn't pre-meditated. This test has always made me nervous and sick to my stomach. I think most of us, being honest, would admit this. Perhaps we each have different reasons for these feelings...but few actually relish the opportunity to take the test. For this reason I have always been conservative in my progress through each station. I never wanted to race for fear I would run out of energy and not be able to complete the remaining tasks within the allotted time. Today, apparently, I had something to prove to myself.

I got to the fourth floor carrying the hose bundle before I started feeling tired. One more floor and I was on my way down. The fan carry and straight ladder are easy. The 35' Extension ladder raise was methodical and roughly the same speed for both extensions. The body drag was quick going out and I slowed some bringing the 165 pound dummy made of rubber hose back to his home across the white line. I had two more stations to complete. The buckets. Everyone hates the 400 foot bucket carry. We can set the two full five gallon buckets of foam down at every 100 foot point to rest, but not in between. The key, if you can do it, is to keep hold of those buckets the full 400 feet and just keep walking, no rest. I did it. Finally the sled. The sled is 125 pounds attached to a 25 foot length of hose with a nozzle attached. After the test your legs are a little shot. What would normally be an easy 100' pull seems tiring and slow. But I gave it everything I could not feeling any pain or discomfort. I finished in 5:50. I think this is my fastest time to date on this test. 30 seconds after finishing the test my foot started throbbing and upon removing the tape, appeared to have grown in size...a bit.

Two days later my foot feels much better. I am optimistic that it may not be a stress fracture at all. Perhaps at worst it is another stress reaction. I will stay off of it and take the rest from running that I had intended to do anyway. Yoga, swimming and crossfit have been more than enough to keep me occupied these days. Knowing I didn't further damage my foot makes my day at the PAT even better. But I would almost be willing to say it would have been worth it even if it took another two weeks to heal. I risked a lot not playing it safe that day. I care more than I should some days about the opinions of those I work with regarding my ability to do the job. If I would have failed I would have of course, first and foremost disappointed myself. But worse, I would have provided an example for any nay-sayers looking for the latest gossip thread. Instead, I tried something I've never been willing to try and ended up with the second fastest time on my crew. We all drove away smiling each feeling good about our performance as a crew. And that 5:50 minute test reminded me how important it is to take chances.